Jaded & Joyful

It’s January again.  I can’t escape it.  There are two months per year that bring dread and cynicism to my otherwise placid mood: September because it’s the month when summer just won’t quit; when my scarves try to jump around my neck but are quickly yanked off at the realization of another ninety degrees.  And January because everything is supposed to be new, but it all feels rather gray and old.  Everyone exalts in his newness of healthy food and too much exercise, while I sit at this obnoxiously trendy café (longing for my forgotten headphones) with my salted caramel mocha and pecan sticky bun.  Hashtag winning at January.

Every year there is more growth of character, and isn’t that the gift of time…the growing?


Some random things I discovered this past year..(just because I felt like making a list):

  • Life is art, but first we must  s l o w   d o w n.
  • I’m allergic to the thought of being a “blogger mom”. Gag.  Please don’t put me in THAT box.  However, my love of writing makes this annoying title a necessity..
  • I have reverted back to my childhood tendency towards hermit-ism. (Meaning: People in groups of more than three at a time are overwhelming.  Let’s all just break into pairs and color.)
  • Wonder.
  • Pray fervently. Even when God seems to be waiting for you to finish growing before He responds.
  • My favorite chapter of life is this: The Ethics of Elfland found in G.K. Chesterton’s book, Orthodoxy.  It is completely worth buying the whole book just for that one chapter.
  • My friends might be tired of me talking about the Enneagram.  Maybe.
  • 32 was the magical age where every bite of sugar started clinging to my body.  Dammit. 
  • Half of the humans probably don’t like me. And that’s okay. Well, I think that’s okay…I’m still working through this one.
  • I attended two workshops and learned that there are a whole bunch of rules about writing. I plan to follow zero of them.

We finished the year knowing that my husband’s job would end at the start of the new year.  People keep remarking that we seem very “positive” about it all.  But if I’ve learned anything at all during this one sprint of a life, it’s that God is faithful.  Worry is poison.  This morning I had to go the the dentist at an hour that I was asleep yesterday morn.  The hygienist ground my teeth shiny while pouring over me with her freshest worries.  Apparently kids in her neighborhood have outgrown their snowsuits so parents are feverishly trading with one another in time for the snow tomorrow because the stores are fresh out of all snow things and OMG what are we all going to do? (She doesn’t speak with commas.)  Snowsuits? Crap. I’m a terrible mother. Must go to the Goodwill and find snowsuits as soon as I leave here.  Do you hear the lies that worry bring?

 I hope this year brings freedom for us, friend.  (I fear calling you friend in case we would be enemies, but I’ll try my best to like you if you do the same for me.)  I hope we will find freedom from finding validity in another’s fears.  I hope we will embrace our true selves and our one true God.  I hope we will cast off distractions and run headlong into our purest year yet.

And lastly, this.  All the livelong day:

“Give our Lord the benefit of believing that His hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.” ~Pierre Teilhard de Chardin~

Happy New Year, friends and enemies.  Let’s do this thing.



  1. I’m loving the look of your blog! That was my favorite chapter in Orthodoxy which I’m going to reread as soon as I find the book. #weweremeanttobefriends. I like your thoughts. 🙂 Also, I HATE when I forget my headphones when I go to coffee shops! I can’t focus if anyone else is around.

    1. Thanks, friend! Fresh canvas..ahhh. We WERE meant to be friends for ALL the reasons. And uhh…pretty sure this post sounded extra jaded BECAUSE i forgot my headphones. hahaha.

  2. Yes to elfland, Chesterton, de Chardin, coloring in pairs, being in suspense, wonder, and peanut m&ms. You’re totally speaking my language on this gorgeous blog of yours! And by the way, whenever it snows, you can be sure my kids will always be the ones wearing plastic bags for snow boots.

  3. I love to read your words and feel the passion you my lovey daughter put in your writing. The new site is very you. Thanks for sharing such amazing words for all to embrace. Love ❤️ you!!!

  4. Pray fervently and I think much less than half the humans dislike you. Praying that your husband gets an even better job than he anticipates.

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